literature

The Legendary Whiner, original

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The Legendary Whiner

As far as the weather was concerned, Maoui was convinced that something had it out for her. The day was bright, hot and incredibly moist in the plainsland- as was the norm for where her tribe lived during this season, but the young catgirl -clad in nothing but her natural brown fur and a traditional youngling's multicolored chest and waist cloth- couldn't really help but feel that someone or something was making it specifically so that she had a hard time trying to acquire her dinner.

In this case, dinner consisted of two fish. More specifically, fish that had been caught earlier in the day from a river that wasn't too far away from their village. They had set up the amount of fish caught in a rather big net, next to a just as big bowl that would be used for cooking and cleaning the fish as needed, if needed. There were big fish, little fish, red fish, blue fish, more fish than she could care to count. The very sight of it made her mouth water.

'If only those two would leave...if only for a moment!' Maoui had been crouched behind a hut for the better part of 15 minutes. The hut and area in question was near the borders of the tribe's village, so she was (relatively) positive that no one would bother to be able to spot her. She hadn't been this hungry in a while, and after she had been relegated her to scraps and consistent guard duty for nearly demolishing several pottery items as well as wrecking a garden in her last panic session (hey, the clump of rocks and sticks LOOKED like a jaguar from a distance...), she was getting desperate for food. Of course, if she was caught doing THIS...eh, the prospected of her keeping her hands wasn't good.

Still, it was a lot of fish, and she'd be surviving on table scraps for the last two weeks! It was either this or waste away due to starvation! ...Well, there was worse, but she dared not think about that. 'Aha! Finally!' It was at this point Maoui determined the time to be ripe for a bit of quick fishing. She raised a leg to get moving-

And felt something very scaly and probably not nice slither across the foot still on the ground.

To her credit, she at least had the sense of mind to look down an ascertain that it was, in fact, a snake, and not something else before tearing off through the village, screaming at the top of her little kittygirl lungs. As soon as the scream came, almost as one, the entire rest of the village sighed and prepared to buckle down for the coming storm.

The one-catgirl-stampede came barreling through the main part of  the village, screaming and howling for dear life as she tore clear through the village, wrecked anything in her path in an adrenaline fueled panic. It was only when two warriors who had heard the ruckus (and expected who it was) tackled her to the ground and held her there for a solid 10 minutes that she was able to calm down...and then subsequently resuming panic (only inwardly this time) as she realized that she had messed up...yet again.

Maoui knew she was in serious trouble when she saw The Circle. The circle was not an object, per say. Rather, it was a circle made up of representatives of every part of the village's life- farmer, warrior, toolmaker, shaman, builder, and of course, the elder sitting directly at the foot of his hut, where the entire thing was to take place. To be summoned to The Circle meant that your life was going to drastically change in a few short moments, and everyone in the village knew this- which meant that many had come to watch and witness whatever punishment was doled out.

Both Maoui's mother and father were besides her, looking on from their hut not too far away, and although her father looked stoic and ironhearted- as he always did, her mother was much more emotional as she held her child close. Barely older than 14 years and summoned to The Circle? What made the situation worse was that relatives weren't allow to be present at the judgment. "Be strong, my little one," her mother cooed as she ran her furred claws through her child's hair. "I know that you're not the bravest one around, but that's no reason for this..." her grip on her child tightened as she heard the ceremonial hooting of the horn that signaled the judgment to begin. Maoui could do nothing but return the hug as she heard the same- she hadn't wished this on herself or her parents, but here she was. All because of her cowardice...
"Forgive me, mama..." she whispered as she broke away as the horn sounded for the third time and went to face her fate.

She tried her best to block out the sounds of her mother's tears as she left the hut, and her father's quiet murmurings of support.

She never quite managed it.

The looks that the people gave the girl were mixed upon approach- some were sympathetic, some were indifferent, some were smug and- dare she think- relieved. The ones who comprised The Circle had absolutely blank faces; and she knew they would remain like that (save for the Elder himself) until final judgment was rendered by the elder.

"Kneel," came the Elder's order. Swathed in long elaborate grey robes and neck adorned ceremonial colored beads, his once proud dark brown fur had since waned and been parched white; his claws were no longer as sharp as they used to be, and his skin was wrinkled as age took its toll on him outwardly. Inwardly however, his mind was still sharp as any claw, his mind and even some muscle still capable of moving with lithe grace.

Maoui moved with as much grace she herself could muster, setting herself in the traditional reverential pose- legs crossed, head bowed arms placed in front of her, paws stretched outwards towards the Elder in honor and respect.

The Elder nodded, although she did not see it. "Little one, your family has been ours for generations. You have the names of ancestors who have done great deeds in the name of our village behind you and your kin- names that we respect and honor. It is these names which have saved you from more severe punishment in the past." After giving a quick look over at her bent form, he continued. "And you by no means are disrespectful to me or your people, as you show now and have shown us in the past." It was at this point that the Elder gave an almost sad frown. "But your recent actions have forced us to yield to more harsh punishment; if only for the sake of the village's continued wellbeing. We cannot simply regrow the food you have trampled and ruined in your blind fear in a night, nor can we easily replace the shelter and tools you have broken in your times of fright without worry." All eyes were locked on the young girl, head still bowed; which she was grateful for- if she had been asked to raise it, anyone within seeing distance could've seen the fear and concern in her eyes.

"We have thus decided that your cowardice and subsequent uncontrolled flights have presented a threat to this village...one that shall be dealt with posthaste." Raising himself up on his two feet, the Elder motioned to two warriors (the same that had stopped her in the first place, no less), who stepped into the circle and grasped the young catgirl by either arm- not fierce, but solid, strong grips, lifting her almost against her will.

"You are hereby banished from this tribe, and unwelcome in our lands."

The declaration sent hushed ripples of conversation throughout the assembled crowd. She was young, untrained in anything more complex than basic food gathering and sheltering in the wild...would she really be able to survive along? Perhaps if she found sanctuary in another tribe...

The Elder raised his hand to shush to crowd, who instantly complied. "You have until the rising of next day's sun to gather any personal items you may wish. You shall not be allowed to take any of our fish or meat, and only a day and nights' rationing of fruit and breads. At first light tomorrow, you will leave our village, and not return."

Maoui had more or less frozen upon hearing the initial declaration. 'I...Banished...what...' Even her head had been unable to complete any kind of sentence; let alone speak out loud against the action.
The rest was all a jumble to her- the guardsmen had brought her home- she could recall her mother crying and her father angry, though at who she couldn't tell- and she could recall her mother and father holding her close- she made sure to remember that- but then a blur of movement and talks and collection of items. A few people had wanted to give condolences to her and her family, but she truly remembered little of it.

All she remembered was that that night, she fell asleep in her mother's breast for one last time.
Original Version of the short story posted in my gallery. I like the alternate one better. Not as sad.
© 2010 - 2024 ProminenceFlare
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PsychoStreakProny's avatar
... HOW DOES THIS HAVE NO INPUT? Phenomenal brony, just phenomenal.